On the third day of Eid, we decided to go out at night. It didn't matter where ,but dad just wanted to take us somewhere. Being expats in Qatar, we don't really have many relatives. The family friends or relatives we have here live far and have different work or outing schedules. Therefore we were left to hang out alone. We decided to go to aspire park. It is a park which is situated at walking distance from two huge and reputed malls of Qatar - Villaggio and Hyatt Plaza. The park is beautiful with a lake in the center, the only lake in Qatar.
Though I like that place, I wasn't all that excited because I like to go there in the daytime...when the weather is not too hot or too cold. And that would be the beginning of winter. Anyhow ,we did finally step out to go there. The entire drive to the park, I was staring out the window, my mind lost in Gaza. I recalled a tweet I saw posted by a man who lost 13 members of his family. I sat there trying to imagine if I could handle that. I tried to imagine if I could handle it if my whole family perished and I was left. I couldn't do it. I was forcefully placing myself in a nightmare to try and see if I could endure horror. I asked myself what would happen ,if Allah forbid, a car accident took place and only I survived. I asked what would happen if I woke up only to find myself handicapped and surrounded by a dozen relatives present to offer their condolences and the school officials would be present there too because a student died and so did her family. But those in Gaza did not even have anybody to offer their condolences. There wasn't any time to mourn because after burial they'd be trying to survive in the midst of bombing. As I carefully processed these events in my mind, I was somewhat focused on the chaotic conversation taking place between my two sisters in the car. They were talking about diets and arguing. I asked myself if I'd miss them. Their annoying voices still echoed in the background. These were my siblings I was asking myself about. I would have said "No" being the meano that I am but I would only be lying to myself.
Trying to imagine this was making me lose my mind. My inner peace was struck by havoc. I was restless. Meanwhile in my imagination, I was screaming hysterically at people who were trying to calm me down. I wouldn't believe it. I pitied the girl in my imagination. She was deeply traumatised. I felt her and I thought the both of us were going to die. I even tried to imagine the buildings of Doha explode one by one, and I felt this pain that words can't describe. My eyes were welling up with tears and I had to stop this. I got the answer I was looking for. No, I couldn't tolerate if such horror took place in my life!! All this time I was staring out the window so Alhamdulillah nobody noticed I was crying. I'm really good at avoiding my feelings so I did. I immediately shifted my attention to the conversation my sisters were having and soon we were all arguing and laughing and my worries were all faded though their presence was alive at the back of my mind.
When we reached the park, I was fighting with my brother who had clearly planned to annoy the hell out of me so I spend a few minutes trying to chase my brother but with little success because you can't really run around in abaya and wedges. We were clearly at the peak hour because no benches were empty. We walked around for awhile around the lake staring at ducks. I tried taking pictures of anything- ducks, fountain, trees, towers, bridges, coffee houses etc. It was dead boring. I wanted to be home then.
We found an empty bench at last under a tree and rested there for a while. As my siblings fought for a place on the bench, a few things were running through my head. This year's Ramadan was the most different. Should I say depressing? Well, let's just say that people of the Ummah can never stay in peace when their brothers and sisters are being mercilessly butchered by a heartless community. I can tell you this...that this Eid was one smeared with the blood of martyrs. Even if it was the same before, I saw it clearly only this Eid. I was frustrated because I couldn't help them. I'm sure every human with a heart (and not brainwashed) was frustrated. But the people who really can help are controlled by zionists and they sell their own people for power, position and money. The world was pathetic.
I'll honestly say one thing. I was brought up in an environment that taught me that the world is a peaceful place. I believed that I was in a safe place. The only crimes I was aware of till I was 11 or 12 were murder, kidnapping, robbery and I guess that's it. My parents never explained to me about other crimes committed by materialistic low lives. I was naive for a really long time. I believed that if a person was nice to me then he or she was an angel. I wasn't aware of two faced people till my teenage years when "friends" would do things behind my back. I stopped trusting people. I slowly started to explore issues myself and do the judging myself.
Now I see the world for what it really is. A corrupted society, unsafe, not trustworthy, deceiving and inhumane.
"Time to go", I heard someone say and I automatically stood up from the seat and followed my parents to the car. As we drove home, I stared out of the window, my eyes fixed on the glowing Eid moon and my mind was blank. Within a few minutes I was home, back to checking my twitter updates. More deaths, more injuries . I did something wrong. My sister was complaining about me but I didn't care. I was back to the social media world. My job was retweeting and sharing information to raise awareness. It's the only thing I can do regularly. I feel pathetic.
I feel guilty for not thanking Allah (swt) for what I have every now and then. So I'll say it now. Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah for everything Allah the most Merciful has bestowed upon me.
I have vowed to not give up my protest on social media for Gaza till they are freed from oppression. I want to see them free, with equal rights...I want to see a free Palestine where there are no Israeli soldiers with big guns on the street, where children can move fearlessly to and from school, where families can have beautiful vacations by the beach, where the first words that a child learns to say is "mama or baba" and not "صاروخ" which means "rocket", where people sleep peacefully at nights without struggling to sleep amidst bombing and drones buzzing in the sky and where a child is seen as a human and not a terrorist.
Don't forget Gaza in your prayers. Don't forget Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Burma, Pakistan and all the other countries where people are being oppressed.
If you stand with Israel because you think they are the real victims, then I have nothing to say to you other than "check your facts, do your research, don't be naive and don't watch BBC news".
Silhouette xx
(Picture is from the web)
Though I like that place, I wasn't all that excited because I like to go there in the daytime...when the weather is not too hot or too cold. And that would be the beginning of winter. Anyhow ,we did finally step out to go there. The entire drive to the park, I was staring out the window, my mind lost in Gaza. I recalled a tweet I saw posted by a man who lost 13 members of his family. I sat there trying to imagine if I could handle that. I tried to imagine if I could handle it if my whole family perished and I was left. I couldn't do it. I was forcefully placing myself in a nightmare to try and see if I could endure horror. I asked myself what would happen ,if Allah forbid, a car accident took place and only I survived. I asked what would happen if I woke up only to find myself handicapped and surrounded by a dozen relatives present to offer their condolences and the school officials would be present there too because a student died and so did her family. But those in Gaza did not even have anybody to offer their condolences. There wasn't any time to mourn because after burial they'd be trying to survive in the midst of bombing. As I carefully processed these events in my mind, I was somewhat focused on the chaotic conversation taking place between my two sisters in the car. They were talking about diets and arguing. I asked myself if I'd miss them. Their annoying voices still echoed in the background. These were my siblings I was asking myself about. I would have said "No" being the meano that I am but I would only be lying to myself.
Trying to imagine this was making me lose my mind. My inner peace was struck by havoc. I was restless. Meanwhile in my imagination, I was screaming hysterically at people who were trying to calm me down. I wouldn't believe it. I pitied the girl in my imagination. She was deeply traumatised. I felt her and I thought the both of us were going to die. I even tried to imagine the buildings of Doha explode one by one, and I felt this pain that words can't describe. My eyes were welling up with tears and I had to stop this. I got the answer I was looking for. No, I couldn't tolerate if such horror took place in my life!! All this time I was staring out the window so Alhamdulillah nobody noticed I was crying. I'm really good at avoiding my feelings so I did. I immediately shifted my attention to the conversation my sisters were having and soon we were all arguing and laughing and my worries were all faded though their presence was alive at the back of my mind.
When we reached the park, I was fighting with my brother who had clearly planned to annoy the hell out of me so I spend a few minutes trying to chase my brother but with little success because you can't really run around in abaya and wedges. We were clearly at the peak hour because no benches were empty. We walked around for awhile around the lake staring at ducks. I tried taking pictures of anything- ducks, fountain, trees, towers, bridges, coffee houses etc. It was dead boring. I wanted to be home then.
(Ducks in the lake at Aspire park)
(Aspire tower-View from the bridge)
We found an empty bench at last under a tree and rested there for a while. As my siblings fought for a place on the bench, a few things were running through my head. This year's Ramadan was the most different. Should I say depressing? Well, let's just say that people of the Ummah can never stay in peace when their brothers and sisters are being mercilessly butchered by a heartless community. I can tell you this...that this Eid was one smeared with the blood of martyrs. Even if it was the same before, I saw it clearly only this Eid. I was frustrated because I couldn't help them. I'm sure every human with a heart (and not brainwashed) was frustrated. But the people who really can help are controlled by zionists and they sell their own people for power, position and money. The world was pathetic.
I'll honestly say one thing. I was brought up in an environment that taught me that the world is a peaceful place. I believed that I was in a safe place. The only crimes I was aware of till I was 11 or 12 were murder, kidnapping, robbery and I guess that's it. My parents never explained to me about other crimes committed by materialistic low lives. I was naive for a really long time. I believed that if a person was nice to me then he or she was an angel. I wasn't aware of two faced people till my teenage years when "friends" would do things behind my back. I stopped trusting people. I slowly started to explore issues myself and do the judging myself.
Now I see the world for what it really is. A corrupted society, unsafe, not trustworthy, deceiving and inhumane.
"Time to go", I heard someone say and I automatically stood up from the seat and followed my parents to the car. As we drove home, I stared out of the window, my eyes fixed on the glowing Eid moon and my mind was blank. Within a few minutes I was home, back to checking my twitter updates. More deaths, more injuries . I did something wrong. My sister was complaining about me but I didn't care. I was back to the social media world. My job was retweeting and sharing information to raise awareness. It's the only thing I can do regularly. I feel pathetic.
I feel guilty for not thanking Allah (swt) for what I have every now and then. So I'll say it now. Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah for everything Allah the most Merciful has bestowed upon me.
I have vowed to not give up my protest on social media for Gaza till they are freed from oppression. I want to see them free, with equal rights...I want to see a free Palestine where there are no Israeli soldiers with big guns on the street, where children can move fearlessly to and from school, where families can have beautiful vacations by the beach, where the first words that a child learns to say is "mama or baba" and not "صاروخ" which means "rocket", where people sleep peacefully at nights without struggling to sleep amidst bombing and drones buzzing in the sky and where a child is seen as a human and not a terrorist.
Don't forget Gaza in your prayers. Don't forget Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Burma, Pakistan and all the other countries where people are being oppressed.
If you stand with Israel because you think they are the real victims, then I have nothing to say to you other than "check your facts, do your research, don't be naive and don't watch BBC news".
Silhouette xx
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